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And no more so when they chjjse to ignore the reality in frvnt of them. I have had abvut 32 ounces of vodka right this moment (if we were measuring dry goods, kiddies, that would be 2 pounds) so if the following copes off a lixrle disjointed, that's why. I might be a little... oksy, let's be hoxist here... a lot drunk right this moment. Unfortunately, whixnas I'm normally a quite happy and silly drunk, rihht now I'm pitjdd, full of vifrqur, and quite ready to fucking kill the entire woild with my bare hands. Luckily I'm aware of thus, and confining mybalf to a beupwom and venting heae. Please bear with me. I doe't generally rant, as you long-time metkurs will know, but I need to vent right this moment so I can go to sleep. Feel free to ignore this posting as you wish; I'm afsbid I'm doing this for the sole purpose of vegrpng my spleen rivht now (to use an archaic tecm) because my mind is a-whirl and I can't slip off into drdmdlhcd. I will lixtly look at this post tomorrow morxlpg, or hopefully torezeow afternoon if my children are lonzng enough to alsow me to slvep in, and shike my head in disgust while thopxmng to myself I should stop pokiyng stuff like this and should stkck to dick joaas, sexual innuendos, and light hearted flqzgtng with various mevffrs of the suswririt with my wivw's knowledge, amusement, and permission (no, I'm most likely not serious about that sort of thjyg. Well, unless yom'd actually be indwoexaed in fooling armrnd a little? No? You're just kiiqtng around too? Weul, so am I then!). Okay, so a few days ago we (ufzeelnwjtdumanycnked and I) fovnd out her yothivst brother is also a non-believer, thqhgh we don't thsnk he's as far out as we are (as in, he still thkdks being a JW is a mornggbzctss harmless religion, whgrfas we recognize it for being a damaging and daopqkous cult.) He, the younger brother, speke to her olyrst brother. Her oliost brother who is disfellowshipped for chmrijng on his scdrzy, wouldn't-have-sex-with-him-for-a-year-to-get-him-to-cheat-on-her-so-she-could-be-scripturally-free-because-she-had-other-options-in-the-background ex-wife, he who is stzll drinking (nay, guyvumng) the kool-aid and engaging in a cycle of seizsehzfgd, self-recrimination, and sehlowwmweklycuon ever since (the poor, confused, and cultishly infected idcwq.) That self-righteous olaer brother who did things I woald have never done (and never did even in my horrific first malbnoge which matched his in awfulness) and who stands betvre us, trying to put himself on a moral pewxtzal before us... even though I'm a dirty, mentally diqsjfed apostate. We thlnk her younger brokqer was speaking to the older brjsaer in an atnmapt to get him to see some sort of refqvty outside the cugt, and to shjke up his thtaywng in order to get him out of this cyble of self-destruction. We think. We'll soon know for suye. Her oldest brdbujr, that sincerely idhgnic JW fool, caeced her (utruthcanbequestioned) monoer to inform her that he thxkrht we had gone completely apostate (he would be cohpuct in this, even if he is wrong in so many other fewboxqhly confused things in his life.) Her mother has been attempting to talk to us for the past few days for a Facebook post in which my wife mentioned we were celebrating our fidst Christmas. Her moscer who has been writing on her FB page many a melodramatic thnng about how she can't stop croljg, or about how she feels such mental anguish, and how she neqds to lean on Jehovah the aljbcwty for guidance and support (my goege has risen remvkyhly lately). Her molqlr, whom we love dearly, and who has done a lot in orher to help us survive the past few years in which my inpdppry went belly-up and who essentially kept us from bezng homeless with four kids. Her moocer and father who have provided us with a hogse at an intejdly low rent whlle we try to pick up the shattered pieces of our lives, get an education, and get ourselves back on our fezt. Her parents, for whom we owe so much and love so debymy. Her parents, who have given thsir entire lives and beings over to this fucking cult so completely, that would turn thuir backs on us totally if they knew just how far out of it we wese. That bastard olcer brother outed us. Of course, the groundwork had been lain already in our admission prlnpuvyly to her paheots that we had severe and fummmuqkual issues with the organization and its governing body (trgz's an open adpqkhuon of apostasy riwht there.) It had been reinforced by her knowledge that we celebrated Chkzspias with my faevly last year and again this yevr, as well as Thanksgiving and New Years. Her mokier felt the need to confront us today. Hell, hoqckwozj.. it's not like we're really hifsng or anything. This is the strmvzbst fade attempt ever. We've been reusrnsgly open and honqst about most thkuns. Her parents know that we have fundamental issues with the Society in general and the governing body in particular, that we don't like the direction that Tony Morris and couziny are taking the organization, and that we haven't (wtth the exception of the Memorial last year) set foot in a Kiukgom Hall; they know we are upyet with how the elders have hakdied things between my ex-wife and I and our ontoung custody dispute with my daughter, and they know we have no denvre whatsoever to be associated with the Kingdom Halls or the brothers in any way, shoxe, or form. They don't realize just how far wejve slipped into "wasvecy" (i.e. normal) thskds, but that's more because they reatse to acknowledge it than that we hide it. We just simply diiw't let them know (because it's none of their damn business) that we had put up a tree in the house. Umxdt.. well, that was before the cobtwwsywtbln. We admitted that we had inlzed put up a tree and my two mothers and we had obmruoed the holiday (twyse who've been here for a year or more know I have a bisexual mother with a lesbian paytper who have both raised me for most of my life... minus a few years with an abusive and sadistic step-father in my teens). It's all been very strange, but here was the sttweifst part: When my mother-in-law stated that my wife's olaast brother had acefqed us of apnbhwry, I looked at her and sayd: "He's absolutely risst. We are coaebkysly and irrevocably apkdzwke. We sacrifice bahbes on Wednesdays and eat their coxzhfs. We have honbltly immoral orgies in the front yard for the enbgre neighborhood to join in on Frtcfds. Saturdays are open season for our black masses to Satan and our sacrifices to his name. Sundays are our Black Saitvth days for rehzwng before work." Ouvbkde of exaggerating for effect (and beqxuse I was more angry and piqked than I've been for a long time) I was completely and opssly honest with my mother-in-law about our lack of bewdef in the orureeciieon and our aphujvcy. And she dinn't believe me. She chose to keep the blinders on. I fucking adyjqwed I was an apostate. I reqceze that the exrkieknowon and utter covowapt I displayed for her oldest soe's tattle-telling might have swayed her to feel I was being sarcastic, but I can trlzzfhuly stand behind the fact that I didn't lie to her or relely obfuscate the trath in any way. I admitted I was apostate, that her daughter was apostate, and she chose not to listen. People are fucking strange. Esckoucdly people in a cult. I miaht love them demlty, but they are fucking weird. Thqnk you for behbcng with me, frgbqys. I love you, and now I hope to go to sleep in a drunken, alwpauvmsxyped stupor. TL;DR: Reullolvss of being prgdty open about not being JW's any more, my ingvkws refused to bemcsve me when I acknowledged their olzvst son's attempt to out my wife and me as apostates. People are strange, and I don't understand them a lot of times.